The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

I don't care if you think I'm crazy. I wanted to make that clear, before I continue on this subject. I am a Wiccan. I worship both Goddess and God. I know they have children, too, most often referred to as angels. But I know there are other, less kind beings in existence. I guess you could call them daemons.



You probably have never heard someone tell you something subliminally, huh? Just a hair quieter than the softest whisper. When the only way you could possibly hear it is in complete stillness, and even then you can't make it out. The sound of your own breath and tiny subtle body movments is too loud. Most people that do hear it think "it's the wind" or "I must be nuts". Have you ever heard it? I do. I hear it louder than most. The voice in my mind screams for recognition. It is not a figment of my imagination. It is not a multiple personality disorder. It is NOT the wind. My soul is intertwined with a daemon's. At the exact moment I drew my first breath, he was there. And at that moment we merged, my soul and his became inseperable. We are eachother's strengths and weaknesses. Those whispers I talked about? The one's you may have never heard? They may be in your head. But they may be from something else too. You may call me insane if it makes you feel better and helps you sleep at night. But what about the whispers... listen... can't you hear them?

"The blood is the life." A quote to live by. In it is life. Without it there can be no life. All things living have blood in some form. There are things that thirst for blood. Most people refer to them as Vampires. There are actually more than just Vampires. There are humans who thirst for blood. Humans who think of nothing else. Humans who would give anything to become a REAL vampire. They are kindred. Where am I going with this? I don't know. Just my pointless ramblings, again.

Someone kill me, please. And remove me from myself. Set me free.

As I sit here, at my computer, I look at the clock, numerous times. I have no idea why. It's as if I expect something to happen, something wonderful to brighten my day and make me smile. The feeling will pass soon enough.



It seems that the only way I can express my innermost personal thoughts is in this journal that anyone under the moon could read had they thought it interesting enough. But I am whining. So I'll just shut the fuck up and force myself back into my meaningless hollow existance.

The soul. The ever elusive soul. It is supposed to define us, give us our life and complexities. In early times the first "doctors" were unable th locate the soul. Even modern doctors can't find it. I guess that makes me feel a little better. I'm still trying to find mine. More searching is required.

Why is it this world becomes so boring? I look at other people laughing and smiling and I know they enjoy their lives. I do not know what joy they find. I cannot fathom it. I know that everything I do or say will not make a bit of difference, not really. Oh sure, I may affect one or two peoples lives in some way, but in the end it will not matter. But if I could I don't think I'd want to be like every other human on this planet. So full of contradictions.... they laugh at others misfortune but cry at their own. The law of the land is eat or be eaten, kill or be killed. But they punish those who do so. You get looked down upon for being an alcoholic in a stressful world when there are taverns on every street corner. You supposedly have the right to the pursuit of happiness in the constitution but smoking, one of the biggest "stress relievers" is well on it's way to being illegal. I'm not here to bitch about the rights and wrongs of society. I am just amazed at the happiness ignorance can bring. Maybe I'm just dumb....

I'm accusing noone of this, but I find myself wondering something. I wonder how many of us here in VR actually are into vampirism? How many of us are here because the background is black? Or because were just fascinated by being different? I'm not gonna piss and moan like some people, ranting and raving about piddly shit, but it's just something that crosses my mind every now and then as I sit here, salivating, thirsting.

Have you ever caught yourself slipping? Not like on an icy sidewalk, but when reality itself seems to... *searches for the word* distort. Things that made sense five seconds ago don't add up. And things that were baffling somehow have reason. You start to see things you're not quite sure are real. Things like shadows in odd shapes. Or you imagine a face forming in the morning mist and it almost does, or at least seems to. I have caught myself talking to noone countless times recently. Random conversations with myself, with my imagination. I fear I feel I'm slipping away. Into the madness.